Finding Your Voice

Introducing... River Girl on Real Estate  (tammythrift.com)

A funny thing happened on the way to my river girl retirement dreams, a rogue wave so to speak.  Never saw it coming, but it came none the less.  Life unexpectedly changed, and so did I. 

Rather than brood over plans that must be placed on the 'someday' shelf, I chose to pick myself up and stumble forward.  Again and again, till merciful momentum finally arrived.  (Thank goodness.)

Have you ever been there?  Facing a seismic disappointment, struggling to find the grace to roll with it.  Struggling to figure out the 'so now what?'  Struggling to reclaim your joy.  Struggling with the struggle itself.

One of the sweetest gifts I've experienced was simply writing this blog.  Taking photographs along the journey.  Sharing ordinary moments in my life with people around the world that I've never met.  Taking the risk of being my quirky self, not fearing the judgement of others.  Finding my inner voice, even if I had nothing earth shattering to say.

For several months, I stepped away from writing.  Many have asked, "where have you been, Tam?"  Honestly, I can only say it's been a strange and difficult journey this year.  Mourning the passing of my beloved Maddie dog and learning to navigate life without my best friend.  Embracing an entirely new career path, at a time when most sensible folks would opt to slow down or play more golf.  Accepting that I will become a grandma in January, but I'll nix the rocking chair.  Discovering grey eyebrow hairs.  Accepting that I am 'well seasoned' (vs. aging).  Looking for where I left my Marian-the-librarian reading glasses.  Wondering whatever became of my bucket list.

Enough about me.  Forgive my manners, how have you been?

Odd Duck Confessions

Life sure can be a funny thing.  Plans may change in the blink of an eye.  We might even believe we're taking the right path and then suddenly, bang!  It veers off toward an unforeseen direction.  Is it (yet) another new mountain to climb?  Is it just a plateau?  Perhaps, it's a wide river to cross.

Regardless of the terrain, we're called forth... to grow.  And it isn't easy.

For those who may not know, I've recently embarked on a new career path as a Realtor with a wonderful firm in Williamsburg (see: tammythrift.com).  Yepper, I'm now specializing in fine homes and waterfront properties, with a goal of earning my broker's license.  Immersed in plenty of coursework and research, I'm learning volumes daily.  (Oh, how I'm learning!)

Though I've enjoyed three decades of helping people thrive -- even amid their business upheavals and massive technological changes -- this new role is so much tougher.  I used to be a 'people person' working within the highly analytical crossroads of academia and IT.  Now I feel incredibly awkward and geeky, as I clumsily step into the unknown.  I long to be more approachable and playful, like breezy Chateau Relaxo weekends by the river.  All while working inland, wearing business suits and 'senator shoes' instead of my beloved Topsiders.

Maybe that's the secret to bringing about a warm, hospitable approach.  Perhaps I should begin to visualize that I've invited my clients to spend a casual day by the river with me.  To unwind and simply enjoy themselves.  I'd listen and take good care of them.  Comfortably get to know one other, collaborate, build trust and find that just-right place that will be their happy home.

More than communication, to seek real connection.
It just may work.  

Anything, to help this odd duck learn to confidently swim... and purposefully serve people again.

My Life In 3 Pairs Of Shoes

There was a time in my life when I had a lot of stuff, but very little time.  

I quickly discovered that having it all wasn't worth having at all.  You can quote me on it.

(source)

I can recall Carrie Bradshaw-like moments, gazing at the treasure trove of gorgeous shoes that lined my closet in an upright, orderly fashion.  Even while very, very pregnant, I'd gladly teeter on those sky-high, spiky Ralph Lauren stilettos as I dashed about my corporate life.  

So chic.  And so silly, to tell you the truth.

My, my, my... what was I thinking?

Admittedly, there are times now when I still need to dress well for business.  I'll grab a pair of what I've deemed my 'senator shoes.'  My life in heels, albeit in sensible and stately models.  Like lady legislators might wear.  

Who needs the lower back pain?  No thank you!

To that end, you'll most likely find this rivah girl 

sporting a pair of Topsiders as she takes Maddie dog for a walk.  

Well-loved and a bit worn, they feel like slippers.  

Whether with jeans, khakis or a pair of shorts, it's a comfortable and (still) contemporary fit.  Loved 'em back when I was a ridiculously preppy teen and I love 'em now.  Ever at-the-ready, Topsiders allow for my quickest thinking.  Like impulsively taking the boat out 

on the river for a fun and fast run.  Vroom!

They're also great for when Maddie wants to go outside at 4:00am.

I'll be standing in my Topsiders gazing up at the stars, as she toddles about and (finally) chooses to do the necessary.  Oh, the glamor.

Since cooler weather arrived, my breezy and sockless 

Topsider approach can be a bit too chilly (brrr!), 

even for a lass who rarely gets cold.

Time to sneak a pair of my hubby's woolen socks and tuck them into comfy LL Bean boots!

Seriously, it's a girlie girl's guilty pleasure.

Perfect for tromping through the woods 

to view a waterfront homesite, too. 

Great for a Thanksgiving oyster roast 

or for crunching through snow up at Wintergreen.  

Selfishly, they're the best choice when sitting in an adirondack chair next to my sweet hubby.  Simply chillin' by an outdoor fireplace, as we share cheese and crackers with our perpetually hungry yellow lab.  Pedicured piggies stay nice and toasty, with his socks keeping me warm.  Peaceful.  Grateful.

Indeed, there are other shoe 'contenders' in life that are vying for time and attention.
Over the past two years, I've made some very deliberate decisions in an effort to simplify my life.
As a result, those other shoes often sit idle or end up being donated for another person's enjoyment.  

For me at this age, less truly is more.  Much more.

Life is short and I plan to enjoy it.  Quite likely, in the freedom of three kinds of shoes.

Thanksgiving, River Style

Hope that it was a wonderful 

Thanksgiving for you and yours!  

Ours was deliciously laid back,
because it was spent by the river.  

Sorely needed, too, given the health toll
on our family lately.  It's been tough.

It felt good to decompress while shucking oysters.  Yep, you read that right... oysters.  

Our Thanksgiving meal began with an oyster roast.

If you've never experienced an oyster roast before, it's kind of like a bi-valve (shellfish) cookout.  

Armed with a bushel of steamed oysters, Old Bay, hot sauce, drawn butter and a few crackers... it's a little slice of heaven on earth.  Be sure to add laughter, a shrimp fork and your favorite cold beverage,
as you nibble at a leisurely pace.

Try the crab dip appetizer or the cocktail meatballs, should you not like oysters.  They're tasty.

Good times, made better with Old Bay.

Had to pace ourselves, because there's still turkey, ham and all their fixins' yet to eat. Thanksgiving is a day long event in our family.

It was good to work it off with a walk down the dock with my sweet hubby, or in Maddie's case, by taking a brisk swim in chilly water.  Hard to believe she's 11, with her level of gusto.  (May I age that well!)

Nightfall comes so early now.  

It's one of my least favorite things about this time of year.  Sunsets are glorious though, which helps make up for it.  A little.  This evening's photo is courtesy of my dear son-in-law, who was super handy with his iPhone.
Couldn't resist sharing it.

There's so much to be thankful for, today and every day.  Thankful for the tough times and thankful for the good times.  I'm thankful for this restful day by the river, spent with people I love so dearly.
 

A Dock Could Solve That Problem

The boat repairs took much longer than I would have liked.  We were disappointed that she wasn't ready when family visited VA in late July.  Still, we had a great time goofing like kids as we played up and down Nell & Lewis' riverfront lawn.  Hula hoops and corn hole games reignited competitive streaks.  Too funny.  Many needed to take Tylenol the next morning, given our ages.

Admittedly, the hardest thing about our boat repair adventure has been getting past the painful indigestion of its high cost.  Last weekend, I think my residual acid reflux may have finally settled down.  All it took was the pure joy of seeing a new generation learn to how to water ski and kneeboard along the gentle curves of the Corrotoman River.  Way to go, Parker and Madison, we're so proud of you!

Quickly proving that he's no slouch, sweet hubby hopped into the drink and absolutely carved it up.  Woo hoo, he's still got game!  What a blessing it is having our boat back in the water.  Time to make some wonderful new memories.  
Sure would be a lot easier to do so, if we didn't have to haul that big ol' boat by trailer each and every time.  (Hmmm... waterfront house, yeah that'll work!)

Call Your Mother

Tonight's sky 

was extraordinary

over the James River.  

A layering of clouds,

light and beauty.  

Rainbow in the sky 

made me think that 

mom was saying, "hello."  

Wonder if she saw my 

'Dear Me' post.  

Wonder if it made her laugh.

Wonder if it made her frown.

I miss being able 

to talk with her,
even though it was
never easy.  

Hard to believe 

it has been 

almost two years

since she died.

It still hurts 

to think about it.

Over at Lions Bridge,
the sunset
was
acid-tinged,
almost otherworldly.

Reminded me
 of a psychedelic
 Peter Max pop-art poster.

Simply stunning.
 
 This is what it actually looked like...
 no filters, no Photoshop.

Couldn't count the cameras.

Instagram probably lit up
like a Christmas tree.

Suddenly, 

I'm reminded 

of the reality that 

life is so 

incredibly short.  

 

The sun sets for us all.  

 

Maybe take a moment 

to call your mother, 

if you still can.

 

Dream & Dare To Accomplish It

(source)

Sweet hubby and I have wanted to make our move to the Northern Neck for quite some time.  It hasn't come together just yet, for a host of reasons.  Sigh.

Undeterred by this occasionally frustrating fact, we press on toward the goal in our hearts.  

We'll treasure our weekends up there, till we finally call it home.  (Plus, the boat is fixed!)

This time of waiting hasn't been without its growth and gains.  Most of all, it's taught us to trust His plan and timing even more.  It's also given us time to distill our thoughts and planning, defining what we truly want in our new home.  Most of the time, the visions mesh.  Sometimes, we see it very differently.  

(source)

For a southern fella with a pickup truck and hound dog, having the right home decor actually does matter to him.  He gets it.  After all, it's his home, too.  Willingly, he gives input on the selection of paint colors, fabrics and furnishings.  He also has an amazing eye for executing beautiful millwork and molding designs. (Bet he'll save us a fortune on customizing our new home, just as he's done with the current one!)

Our overall design aesthetic is wonderfully in synch, which is a relief to the decorator in me.  Thoughtfully blending our unique perspectives into those special little details will always be key for us.

(source)

Creating a portfolio of top ideas will help make our new home even better.  Along with many great properties on the Northern Neck, we're seen wonderful bits of inspiration within Coastal Living's showcase properties at East Beach.  Shelter magazines and web resources are helpful, too.  We've filled a large 3-ring binder, to carefully illustrate our vision when it's time.

So, what will this river home ultimately look like?  Honestly, it depends on how long it takes us.  We could go in a slightly different direction by then.  One thing's for sure, we want a traditional beauty that's gracious and welcoming *in the right scale.*  We want it to be wonderfully right-sized -- for when it's just us, as well as for when we entertain a crowd. 

(source)

We're drawn to coastal-influenced architecture, with a classically southern accent.  Transom windows and banks of french doors will give it a bright, open feel.  Add in high ceilings with exposed beams to complement Sweetie's amazing millwork, trim and built-ins found throughout the home.  Dash and Albert rugs on reclaimed wide-plank heart pine floors.  Wood plank walls.  Deep, wraparound porches -- some screened, some not -- will become the site of family crab feasts and for chilling in a rocker with a cool beverage.  Fieldstone terraces and pathways abound, as will hydrangeas, hostas and daylilies.  Metal seamed roof for timeless charm, come rain or shine.  Stacked stone fireplaces for chilly nights. 

(source)

Most importantly, it needs to have the right waterfront aspect.  Not only is the river great for our fun-in-the-sun lifestyle, it drives value.  We see it including a wide sunset view, a gentle slope to its sandy beach and deep water at the dock.  Hubby wants many, many acres of land, too.  (Yikes and ka-ching!)

Piece of cake, right?  Maybe not, but it sure would be our Northern Neck dream come true.

"My advice for young explorers, or anyone, is dream big and dare to fail.  If you don't try to accomplish your dream, you fail before you start."  (N. Vaughan, National Geographic)

Just Love That Old Bay

There's something about the smell of Old Bay seasoning that simply transports me.  It reminds me of the metal seamed roof on Aunt Nell and Uncle Lewis' old river cottage.  I can still hear the soothing plink-plink of raindrops overhead, while we relaxed on the wraparound porch.  Old Bay covered our fingers, as we laughed and picked the freshly steamed blue crabs that were spilled onto newspaper-draped tables.  

Good times, made better with Old Bay.

Tonight was no exception.  My hubby surprised me with dinner at Captain Chuckamuck's restaurant in charming Rescue, VA.  Old Bay spiced the delicious steamed shrimp set before us.  We talked about life, global markets and the lovely waterfront view.
Great food and happy times spent with my Sweetie.  Life is indeed good, especially with Old Bay added.

What's your favorite Old Bay memory or recipe?




In return, I'll teach you how to
make my yummy crab dip.
Served with hot, crusty garlic bread or
broiled over english muffins, it's long been
a family favorite for holidays
and everyday special moments.

Enjoy!

(To learn more, visit tammythrift.com today!)

In Praise Of The Boonies

We spend pretty much every weekend up on the Northern Neck, enjoying all that it has to offer.  Though it is taking a lot longer than we hoped, sweet hubby and I still plan to pull up stakes and move there permanently.  Finding that 'just right' property -- one with serious acreage, deep water and a sandy beach in the right location -- well, it comes at a steep price.  (And the last name is Thrift, not Rockefeller!)  

Patience is key, along with "keeping the faith," as Gene used to tell me.

It's funny when friends or family ask, "why in the world would y'all want move out to the boonies anyway?!"  For the uninitiated who've never crossed the Rappahannock to our enjoy our Mayberry-by-the-river lifestyle, I suppose it is a fair question to ask.  To put it to rest, I'll often bring them along for a day trip to experience our waterfront Shangri-la firsthand.  The term 'boonies' is quickly dismissed, as they try to shake off an unexpected longing to someday live there, too.  The beauty of this area is intoxicating.  Its pace is wonderfully uncomplicated.  

You may even feel like you can breathe again,
if you know what I mean.

To avoid taking reservations
for who's next riding 'shotgun' in my car,
I'll attempt to bring you along with me through this blog.

If you somehow find yourself with a desire to move there as well, just let me know.  I'm getting my real estate license and genuinely look forward to helping people find peace of mind and their own piece of paradise on the Northern Neck.  I can see myself as a professional business person who's committed to building a successful real estate practice.

Hope you'll stop by,
if you're ever out in the boonies.